Baby Food

Sometimes I read forums to keep track of what other expats are doing in the area. I saw a post today titled "searching for baby/children wholesale market in Guangdong"..... I'm cool with eating dogs and cats and doves and scorpions and roaches (I haven't tried any of these YET).....BUT THIS IS WHERE I DRAW THE LINE.
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A baby has too much cartilage to be delicious. I recommend they wait till it's older.

Thank You! Damn IT!

My mandarin is still pretty weak. Today I accidentally lost control of those tongs you use to scoop food and threw a fistfull of noodles at the cafeteria employee. Ofcourse....I immediately said Xie Xie Ni. While I wanted to say excuse me....I ended up thanking him. Thanks for being there...because if you weren't there to catch all those noodles I would have gotten the wall dirty. For future reference....Doi Bu Chi (excuse me) will be the better approach.

I am, What I am, What I am

Wo(3) Jiao(2) Ai(4) De(2) Hua(1) - "My name is Ai De Hua" in PinYin. I have no clue what it means. (most Chinese names have meanings)

The interesting thing is some of the ENGLISH names in my classes. Here is a list of a few:

Bright. Echo. Phoenix. Sail. ZenFarr. Meteor. Benz
Crystal. Ocean. Sunny. Melody. EggSea. Apple. Cinderella.

Mario. Stony. Kuku

and ofcourse....

A male friend named Hellen

I've also heard of a Sugar....and a Royal King from one of my coworkers.

They are asked to choose english names in class....and THEY LOVE to have meaninful names. Chinese names all translate into something so they find english names dull and boring.

Ke-kou-ke-le

THIS IS ACTUALLY STOLEN FROM ANOTHER BLOG - BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS INTERESTING

http://www.onemanbandwidth.com/wordpress/index.php?paged=11

You would think that with the zillions of dollars Coke makes they could afford a top notch translation team, but alas….According to the Canning Room they first tried Ke-kou-ke-la because it was phonetically sounded out a semblance of “Coca-Cola”. But, “it wasn’t until after thousands of signs had been printed that they discovered that the phrase means “Bite the wax tadpole” or “Female horse stuffed with wax”, depending on the dialect’ Second time around things worked out much better. After researching 40,000 Chinese characters, Coke came up with “Ke-kou-ke-le” which roughly translates to "Happiness in the mouth”. Seeexy!!!

And then KFC (the Chinese call it KENDUTCHY) learned the hard way that their slogan, “Finger lickin’ good” actually meant Eat Your Fingers Off when translated.

The Business Plan

I think that I put this up earlier – but it’s worth another upload…..this is still the most delicious NEW FOOD that I’ve tried here in China. It’s PIGEON. I was really surprised at how good it was. I expected it to be just like chicken…..and it was, but the skin is very thin and it’s just a little salty to give it the right flavor. It’s really a shame that we don’t eat this back home….the PIGEONS on the beach ARE HUGE and could definitely make for a terrific meal.
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I wonder if it’s illegal to hunt pigeon in the US? That would be a great business idea….catch and raise pigeons for export to China. It’s a delicacy and is one of the more expensive foods here.

It's Business Time

This is my business card here at MIDEA. According to this I am a "Training Supervisor" in the Human Resources Department. I LOVE IT. It was really exciting to get this because everyone here is very BIG on business cards. In China they are not just thrown around all over the place....but handed out gently....with both hands on the card. The recipient should not put it away immediately, but should take the time to review it and read it over. Then it must be placed in a holder or a special pocket. It is VERY impolite to put it into your wallet in your back pocket.

Which Bum and the Toilet Cam

I found these posters in the men’s room of a bar. It was a little strange because China is a very conservative place. It was even STRANGER to walk around a very cramped men’s room with a digital camera….I was very excited to get out of there without anyone catching me.

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The bottom poster really describes the way I was when I first encountered a CHINESE squat toilet. I was having the same problem that this guy is having with a WESTERN toilet. I just couldn't figure out the best way to position myself.

Hash House Harriers - Gambei!

Two things I forgot to post earlier. - MAYBE NOT APPROPRIATE FOR THE OFFICE

1) This is a video of the Hash House Harriers and the drinking game. It's explained in a different post below.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8964631439843367613

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2) This is what happens when you buy new shoes for the hiking trip. You simply have to break them in.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4315847781743097125

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Here is the website for the group http://www.hhhweb.com/

Shopaholics Paradise

Here's a picture of T-Mall. It's got like 6 Floors....PACKED with shops of all sorts. The picture is lousy but it will give you an idea.

Walkin' the Walk

Just walking through Guangzhou - All of the action happens around the mall. The malls here are bigger than anything that I've ever seen. The Chinese, as they are gaining wealth are becoming major consumers.

Guanzhou....Time and Time Again

We had dinner in Guangzhou. Afterwards we crashed at a friends apartment. He is here working with a US company so they are treating him quite well. He has a really big apartment, nice building with all sorts of amenities. I'm just taking some pictures off of the balcony. Below is the center of the city.

Can't Get it Up

The final part of the adventure is challenges. Here I am trying to be the first to blow up a condom and make it burst. I should have one…..mine was HUGE….but the guy next to me cheated and popped it with his hands….These Chinese are really sneaky!
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Ofcourse, after the challenge is complete….everyone drinks.

Hash House Harriers - Bottoms Up 2

Some more drinking pictures. The beer of choice is Tsing Tao, the most popular beer in China which is partially owned by Budweiser. The little kids in the middle really wanted to participate. They kept mimicking us drinking beer, sipping from imaginary beers in their hands. We really drew a large audience watching the weird Westerners gather and drink from toilets.

Hash House Harriers - Bottoms Up

Part two of the experience is drinking…hence…a drinking group with a running problem. You basically haze one another….first funny news is shared representing each of the countries involved. We had people from New Zealand, Australia, Canada, the United States, Switzerland, and China present. We read out “Stupid News” and mock them.

This is followed by calling out your friends and sharing acts of stupidity that were committed throughout the day, or generally teasing them. I got hazed for wearing jeans to a hiking trip. I hazed 2 people for spilling the most beer during the day.

As for the picture on the bottom….that has it’s own story (and video)

Hash House Harriers - The Treck 2

More pics of the park we were running through. It was really beautiful with lots of slopes to wear you out. The best part was getting away from the pollution of the city.

Hash House Harriers - The Treck

DAY ONE:
Rules and Guidelines. Attendance. Information Gathering
Discuss Syllabus

This past Saturday I joined something called the Hash House Herriers. They self-title themselves “The Drinking Group with a Running Problem”. The idea is really terrific. It’s essentially a hike through the woods followed by drinking games.

The idea is that you are all chasing hares. The 3 hares start out 15 minutes before everyone else and set a trail. There are various symbols like “O” and “X” and “-“ that they mark the trail with (using flour). You start running and try to stay on their trail. Meanwhile they try to confuse the group….sometimes you run 150 feet through the woods and see an X telling you that it’s the wrong way. Sometimes you see the - , little drops of flour on the floor and you know you are headed the right way. As you hit milestones you shout out to the rest of the group…ON-ON so they know to follow you through and that you found the right path. This way everyone sticks together.

Our hiking trip lasted nearly 2 hours….and by the end I was tired and sweaty. That’s great because part TWO is involved drinking games.

I did a pretty lousy job of explaining the rules....so go to http://www.gthhh.com/ to find out the official rules. The game is played all over the world in major cities. There is one in every borough of New York and even Long Island.

Watch Your Herd

A strange sign that I saw as I was going down the stairs. BE CAREFUL.... "Watch Your HERD". God forbid your HERD falls down the stairs. I LOVE CHENGLISH....it's all over the place. What's even funnier is that everyone was watching me as I took this picture....and then I ended up bumping my head as I started walking....I felt like an idiot, but oh well.

Relaxi Taxi

12:00pm is the start of lunch and nap time (until 1:30). Here I am during naptime listening to some music with my headphones. Just for the record, I found this great program to take music off of an IPOD and put it back onto your computer (Apple Itunes does not have this feature to prevent piracy) The program is called SENUTI (Itunes Backwards). I don’t know why I look so ANGRY……must be listening to metallica or nine-inch-nails.

New Food Report

Definitely no lack of new and interesting foods here. At the top right is Pig Ear. This was served before we ordered entrees. Usually, in the United States…..this would be Cole Slaw. At the bottom right are peanuts.....Pig ear and peanuts, DELICIOUS! Top left are onions and bottom left cucumbers.

Banditos

The Whole Gang from Guangzhou

Kai, Jimmy, Tracy, Jan, and Allison

I can't pronounce the Chinese names.

Gettin' Mah Edumakation

Pics from my trip to Guangzhou. The AIESECers gave me the grand tour of their university. Not too shabby. Right now the Chinese Government is in hypermode to increase the number of colleges nationally. Kai, one of my buddies here says its too much because they want world-class colleges but don't have good middle and high school educations. He says the government should focus on a balance at all levels. The country has about 200 universities currently. They are good, but have not won a strong reputation internationally.

Back to the Future

A chinese cash register. Though most of the stores are modern.....this particular one was a little primitive. Now my question is....do they prefer VISA or MasterCard. They might as well take off their shoes and count on their fingers and toes like I do in math class.

KFC + McDonalds = ?

How about a little math equation. KFC + McDonalds = ?

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Answer? = McConkey

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They say that China has a problem with Property Rights...they aren't kidding. Apparently the owner of this fine establishment decided to:

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Notice that the sign has the 3 letter anagram MCK (KFC), the Mc- prefix, the red and white color combination of KFC, and ONE Golden Arch.

Great Wall of China

Last weekend I visited the Great Wall of China. They say that it is the only man-made structure visible from outer space.

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Really, it's just a wall of headless ducks hanging at the butchers. They say that the Cantonese eat everything with four legs but the table....and everything with two legs except other Cantonese.

The Golden Nugget

Also....please don't sexually harass the golden nugget. He's sensitive. As attractive a he is...PLEASE DONT TOUCH ME!

Chinglish Romper Stomper

DO NOT...I repeat...DO NOT "Romp" in the subway station. If you have to romp...please wait until you get home. Public ROMPing is not tolerated and will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

An Unfortunate Choice of Words

What a HORRIBLE name for a hair salon. I wonder if this place offers any branded products? SHIT Hair Gel. SHIT Mousse. and as an expansion into other personal care products....SHIT Mouth Wash.

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The owners probably think...oh, the westerners...they love our Salon....they all take pictures of it.

Mystery Meat

I'll leave it up to you to figure out what this is. The strange thing about the food culture is that they LOVE to leave the head on the plate. They like to associate their foods with actual animals. Meanwhile in the USA we are very cautious about it. Even packaging for cold cuts does not have labels. Boars Head is the only label I can think of.....but I don't think thy sell Boars Meat?

Lacoste's Little Brother

Does anyone else see a slight resemblance? - I'm going to come home decked out in "Crocodile" gear.

Efficient Slacker Tip #1

Take a GUESS......which desk do you think is mine? The secret is to put AS MANY things on your desk as possible so you APPEAR to be really busy. I look like I'm running the place!!