Face On - Face Off

I've mentioned before how the concept of "face (respect)" is unique in Asian cultures. I am supposed to setup a class for the managers and was asked to interview them and place them into the proper training level. I told my colleague that it was pointless to make them come to our office just for a 5 minute interview....they have better things to do. We should just do it over the phone. My colleague answered saying that a phone interview would be a disaster. Since the managers sit next to all of their subordinates they would refuse to speak in English because they would be too ashamed. The managers whose English is weaker would just clam up. Being aware of this and constantly trying to "give respect (give face)" is critical to doing business in China.

Knee Deep In - - - (Mud)

To make matters worse, during the actual hiking trip I tried to take an unfortunate shortcut. I was too lazy to go around the dry river bank so I decided to go through it. I went about half-way in when suddenly I sunk knee-deep into the mud. When I tried to escape I fell on my hands as well. I was holding my cell phone in my hand so that got completely submerged. Ofcourse my friends were no help because they were rolling on the floor laughing.
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I learned my lesson.

As Awkward as it Gets

I don't know how......but for some reason I just ATTRACT trouble. Last weekend I was on the bus with a bunch of foreigners headed out to one of our weekly hiking destinations. I saw a whole troop of military men in full army garb, rifles, and completely soaked from head to toe because of the rain. Apparently these guys were not in a good mood. I decided to snap a few photos of them as the bus passed (Yes, I know, Idiot).....One of the military men spots me and starts shouting like a madman. Foreigner took a picture, foreigner took a picture!!! - Four guys blocked our bus from the front, one guy ran ahead to tell the commanding officer, and the last guy came onboard and started shouting at me in Chinese. Luckily, one of the girls on the bus flirted with him and got him to calm down.
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Do you see the kind of trouble I go through to take photos for this blog?!?!?

Just Chillaxin

I was walking back to my office after lunch today (had lunch at Mickey D's)....and I saw quite an amusing sight. Unfortunately I didn't have my camera with me, so no picture. A full-sized 16 wheeler was parked off on the side of the road....UNDER IT, the driver put up a hammock and was casually taking a nap. When I say "Under It", I mean that literally....he was actually UNDER the frame of the truck, about 1 foot off the ground....on a hammock that was somehow tied to the frame of the truck. It's the kind of thing you'll only find in China.

Video Blogging - 4 VIDEOS

Just trying this video-blogging stuff out. Before anyone says anything: No, I am not obsessed with myself.
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A Boring Shot of the Office: Working on Saturday
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4812354058189619594
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Brief Rant on the Concept of Guanxi (relationship building)
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8189892694195688702
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Talking about China and the Labor Situation
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4580815379413227533
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Just Chatting...about nothing.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5489139522437036899
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PLEASE TELL ME IF THESE WORK (Comment)

The Little Old Lady

The Little Old Lady and I

Toothache...I Hope Not

This is one of the strangest situations in China. This shack is actually a dentists office. It's unbelievable how they do this. No privacy....just spread yourself out on the doctors chair and DRILL AWAY!! People casually stroll down the street and observe you getting your decade-ly checkup. It's particularly strange because the Chinese culture is so sensitive about "the mouth". They cover their mouth when using a toothpick....and never put their fingers in their mouth. One of the reasons they use chopsticks is because they are sanitary (you dont get them "dirty" the same way as a spoon)

China-Man

4 Months down.....2 to go....and I'm still hangin in there.
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Here are some vidoes from my hometown in Beijao, Shunde, Guangdong.
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http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6166718394766010665&hl=en
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http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2308364545686888160&hl=en

Just a Test

Testing out a feature in Picasa for posting movies to my blog. Tell me if it works.

A Kick To The Head, A Punch In The Face

Here I am, decorated with raspberry jelly (the makeup people got angry because I was eating it) for my fight scene with Bruce Lee. The director wanted me to fight without my shirt on....but as soon as he saw my muscles he said they were too big and would make too many women fall in love with me and distract them from Bruce Lee (In My Dreams). Really he saw my crispy chicken sunburn and tan lines and said that it's probably better that I not expose myself.

HERE ARE SOME VIDEOS OF THE SCENE:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2901491803635444370&hl=en
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http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=10219303673403833&hl=en
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http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5184775937302647224&hl=en
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http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1763518370503076955&hl=en
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http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6719452864547079463&hl=en
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THE FULL SHOW WILL BE READY before the Olympics in 2008.
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This was pretty painful.....I had no straps or high-tech equipment that you see behind the scenes of US films. I just had to do this scene 7 times over.....up-down up-down up-down like a freakin bobble-head. By the end of the scene my neck was sore and my butt was bruised.

Foreigners On The Set

These are the other foreigners on the set. A LOT OF RUSSIAN ACTORS in China. 5 of them are russian.

Bruce...Aren't you dead already?

This is the actor impersonating Bruce Lee. He's pretty famous and was involved in movies like Kung Fu Hustle. The third picture does not do him justice...but from the others you can see that he REALLY DOES look like Bruce Lee (although smaller and younger).

Don't Mess With ME!!

I was supposed to be an extra....but since I'm the TALLEST MAN IN CHINA (the 8th tallest, actually) they decided to give me a speaking role. I am a boxer upset at Bruce Lee for bringing his crew into OUR gym. My four lines are as follows:
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1) Bruce, what are you doing here, this is our gym.
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2) How are we supposed to practice, you're using all the equipment and making so much noise, we can't concentrate!!!
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3) Come over here (urging him to fight me)
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4) Have you any idea what you're talking about? (To the coach for inviting Bruce Lee to join our team)
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Then....if that weren't enough....I ACTUALLY FIGHT BRUCE LEE

A friend...of a friend...of a friend

Somehow...through a friend of a friend I was asked to participate in the filming of a Kung Fu television series titled "The Legend of Bruce Lee". You can google it, and you'll find that it's a pretty big deal since Bruce Lee has so many fans across the globe. I got off the bus coming from Yang Shuo at 6am, took a taxi home, showered, changed, and was on the set at the gymnasium in Dalyang by 8:15.

Romance is in the AIR

HOW ROMANTIC!!!

Give me the Damn Button!

Mischa trying to convince this Chinese sales clerk to give him an extra button because the shirt he bought from her was totally defective. She was not being very cooperative. Finally after 30 minutes of back-and-forth she took the next shirt in the stack and pulled off a button.....so the next poor guy who buys THAT shirt will face the same situation....it's a viscious cycle.

SOMEBODY HELP!

THIS IS GETTING A LITTLE OBSCENE......Someone needs to do something. One thing is if you mix up one word for another....but it's something completely different when you make up your own words.......TURST IS NOT A WORD!!! It would have come up in Spell Check!!!

MOVE IT OR LOSE IT!!!

They look like fun....but I would not want to be driving these clown-mobiles through rush hour traffic. You would have fuel tankers just flying over your head.

More Chinglish

Can someone explain to me what an evaporimeter is? Is that a real product? You would think that they would know the name of their own product...or maybe I'm just out of it. QUALITY IS EMBODIED!!!

My Future Career

I have found my calling in Life......I'm going to be a bamboo-boat-driver in a set of navy diapers. This IS HARD WORK. You should see these guys....old men pulling these boats are totally jacked up. Good Exercise.

Alcohol Tolerance = 0%

Chinese are not known for their alcohol tolerance even though they drink some of the most concentrated toxic alcohols on the face of the earth (BAIJIU!!!!). Give most of them one drink (light Beer) and they're tumbling and stumbling down the street as if they were walking a tightrope during an earthquake.